i have been reading an inspirational book and have put together a pastiche [is that how you spell it?] of quotes...

i am kicking ass! i have now for a week been off of sugar, wheat & junkfood....almost a month ago i got super concerned about my weight which had reached a horrifying zenith....and decided to do what it takes.... i made a bet with one of my massage school companeras that the first person to lose 20 lbs got a massage from the other..... i bought a scale....for years now i refused to look at myself in terms of some number to obsess about and not in terms of the way i was eating....since that attitude was failing me miserably i broke down.....and i have actually found it to be great inspiration and feedback....i look forward to seeing how things are doing before bed and when i wake up....i have to laugh because a lot of the time i seem to be losing the most weight in my sleep! and i also picked up on this book which has had fantastic input....The Writing Diet by the same womyn who wrote The Artist's Way.....and i have started journaling and walking and eating 'clean'..... and when i am down at school during the week i got into swimming laps again....a little over a mile each morning..... and it feels great!...i already feel lighter....i feel a greater clarity of thought....and definitely feeling better about myself.... and so far.....drum roll.......16 lbs!!! and this is just the beginning.... i plan to keep on with the no sugar, no wheat, no junk until i pass my massage boards.... so Yay for new self discipline...... hope you are all riding the beauty & majk of the feb eclipses.... all my excitement & motivation, skye

i just read somebodies blog with this title and these are my favs....

it is becoming a bit like a polar bear in a snow storm....
was it upstate new york last year that got about 100 inches in a month?.....

well....you may have thought i fell off the edge of the planet....but no.... just going to work 5 days a week and massage school the other 2 and 1/2! i know that doesn't add up....but that is what i am doing!....and studying my ASIS off in any imbetween that happens along.....late oct and through nov i actually went 5 weeks without a single day off..... but tomorrow is my last day of work and i am skipping school next week so i can take a week off from school and work to traipse up to Seattle and go see Tori Amos in concert next wednesday night! yes! so anyway....hope all are well.....and i give you two fabulous quotes to peruse.... one from the inside of a chocolov chocolate bar....the other from this fabulous book called The Field by Lynne McTaggert which i call a Must Read for all you Quantum Cowboys & Cowgirlz! much love to all! from The Courtier For since a kiss is a knitting together both of body and soul, it is to be feared lest the sensual lover will be more inclined to the part of the body than of the soul; but the reasonable lover knows well that although the mouth be a parcel of the body, yet is it an issue for the words that be the interpreters of the soul, and for the inward breath, which is also called the soul; and therefore hath a delight to join his mouth with the woman’s beloved with a kiss—not to stir him to any dishonest desire, but because he feeleth that that bond is the opening of an entry to the souls, which, drawn with a coveting the one of the other, put themselves by turn the one into the other’s body, and be so mingled together that each of them hath two souls, and one alone so framed of them both ruleth, in a manner, two bodies. -Sir Thomas Hoby […..This would be a machine whose output consisted of perfectly random activity, which in physics is viewed as a state of ‘disorder’. The Rhine studies in which participants had apparently affected the roll of the dice suggested that some information transfer or ordering mechanism was going on—what physicists like to term ‘negative entropy’, or ‘negentropy’ for short –the move away from randomness, or disarray, to order….] [[this quote is just so you can have a definition of negentropy to understand when it comes up in the main quote.....]] …Our natural state of being is a relationship—a tango—a constant state of one influencing the other. Just as the subatomic particles that compose us cannot be separated from the space and particles surrounding them, so living beings cannot be isolated from each other. A living system of greater coherence could exchange information and create or restore coherence in a disordered, random or chaotic system. The natural state of the living world appeared to be order—a drive toward greater coherence. Negentropy appeared to be the stronger force. By the act of observation and intention, we have the ability to extend a kind of super—radiance to the world. —Lynne McTaggert The Field; The Search for the Secret Force of the Universe

my friend just sent me this mary oliver piece that i had to share.... Worm Moon > > >In March the earth remembers its own name. >Everywhere the plates of snow are cracking. >The rivers begin to sing. In the sky >the winter stars are sliding away; new stars >appear as, later, small blades of grain >will shine in the dark fields. > >And the name of every place >is JOYFUL. > > >The season of curiosity is everlasting >and the hour for adventure never ends, >but tonight >even the men who walked upon the moon >are lying content >by open windows >where the winds are sweeping over the fields, >over water, >over the naked earth, >into villages, and lonely country houses, and the vast cities > > >because it is spring; >because once more the moon and the earth are eloping -- >a love match that will bring forth fantastic children >who will learn to stand, walk, and finally run >over the surface of the earth; >who will believe, for years, >that everything is possible. > > >Born of clay, >how shall a person be holy? >born of water, >how shall a person visit the stars; >born of the seasons, >how shall a person live forever? > > >Soon >the child of the red-spotted newt, the eft, >will enter his life from the tiny egg. >On his delicate legs >he will run through the valleys of moss >down to the leaf mold by the streams, >where lately white snow lay upon the earth >like a deep and lustrous blanket >of moon-fire, > > >and probably >everything >is possible. > >(Mary Oliver, Twelve Moons)

to my friends & relations far & near… well if you know me at all you know that the last thing in the world i am is a salesperson….especially when it comes to my art… but this is a bit of a one-time pitch to you….for a very good cause….me! so this is the deal… back in january as i was going through some significant personal transformation [it all began with this ‘new year’s’ whim to quit sugar…which i am still done with as of march! yay!]…anyway…i was going through this healing crisis in january and reordering my life and its priorities to reflect the directions i felt Spirit was pointing me in…and as i was clearing away some of the primary focuses that had been consuming my time in the past growing season, i asked Spirit, “so, here i am clearing all this new space for the next growing season, what is the new direction that i am pointed in?”…and Spirit answered, “it’s finally time to go to massage school!”….!!! this has been an idea that has been literally kicking around in the closets of my brain and imagination for almost 2 decades now… so i am….i am entering massage school in july! found an awesome small homey school in silverton, oregon that, with a little consideration from my kitchen team where i work, i will attend their 5 & ½ month, 500 hour intensive [three days a week] and be ready to take the LMT licensing exam come the end of december. i can’t tell you how phreaking excited i am about this new path…which, of course, really seems like an extension & expansion of many explorations that have come before & still continue in my life today…already going through the anatomy coloring book & reading the trail guide to the body, which my school will be using…and wondering how the phreak did it take me so long to explore this awesome world of the body?! [at least in terms of terminology & the science thereof…been life-drawing for over 16 years now, so no stranger to the awe of the body] so that is the background and here is the reality… school will cost about 8 grand for the tuition itself….hopefully i will still be putting in a 3 day work week at Breitenbush so that will take care of subsistence… i have now almost 2,ooo already saved [sold my laptop and started already devoting all my extra cash for school] and, with any luck at all, will qualify for this grant [everybody keep your fingers crossed!] which will cover ½…so i am trying to raise 2,000 + before school in july because they have quite a package of incentives [including a good massage table!] which they gift you if you are all paid-in-full by the start of classes…yeah! so i know i can manifest this…so far spirit just seems to be providing just fine… but here is my scheme to facilitate the process… my lovely, extraordinary, each-one-of-a-kind, majkl weavings…blessed each one in the Breitenbush river upon completion…these very limited edition wearable art…are up for ‘grabs’… there are only 7…i only weave maybe 9 a year…if the demand is even huger than i expect, i could weave possibly 3 more in the next few months… and they include yarn that i have spun myself! [finally started spinning a year & a half ago…been weaving now for about 15 years] i am asking 200-250 sliding scale…and every single penny i receive I put in my massage school savings account… And!....for each who help me get to school paid-in-full i offer, when i get my license, your first massage ½ off!!! so that is my deal….buy a weaving and help skye manifest his bodywork vision! thanks for hearing me out! and i hope all of you are finding a vision of majk for yourselves in this very powerful new season of growth & transformation… may we all go exploding into spring! all my blessings, majk & love, skye

or transformative enough lately...... well.....it has been quite an interesting past 4 or 5 days.....went to my NA meeting in stayton on friday and was feeling a real reluctance to go to portland and so i turned around and went back home.... and saturday started sinking into this total lethargy....an almost dizziness if i was up and about for too long......didn't really feel sick....very much felt like i was detoxing.....and didn't find that too wild a concept since i was now closing in on 3 weeks with no sugar and almost a week with no snacky food [chips]....which was a real startling development in this new year dietary transformation... so from saturday night until essentially last night i was spending most of the time in bed.....either sleeping or reading this amazing book......A Language Older Than Words....by derrick jensen.........a book which critiques our culture and its ecocidal/genocidal goals/process [see previous blog!] but was talking about the author's experiences with interspecies communication....coyotees, trees, stars........and that that is kind of our missing link....we treat everything as objects....even people....instead of everything as animate and with wisdom to share....... well all of this is not news to me.....but a brilliantly written book.... and reading it at a time where i have let go of some pretty major aspects of this culture's hold on me.......sugar....snacky crap.....trying to obtain nourishment with non nourishing sources.....which just makes the hunger/addiction all that more powerful..... so.....as i was going through this withdrawal lethargy and reevaluating/inventoring my life and sorting out the ways i want to commit myself to a relationship/communication with all life..... i have decided to quit pursuing this computer fetish/addiction ......i want to express my art through more 'whole' mediums.......my creative expression certainly does not require a computer medium..... so no more investment into the equipment i felt necessary to pursue my art.... not even sure that life drawing is holding the same 'thrill' as it once did....which after 16 years is quite a shift..... so i almost thought i was coming out of my energy loss yesterday but became incredibly tired once again after melanie and i had a meeting yesterday.....and i fell into bed and deep sleep again last night at 7......and woke up about 11:30....... and as i was lying in bed....barely aware of what time or day it was [other than it was night time!].......i consciously sought out my sense of a power greater and said.....ok......i have now inventoried and created this new space in my life.....i have let go of some significant addictions when it comes to nourishment in my life.....i want to eat whole foods.....i want to pursue 'whole' pursuits.......i want to be in communication with the wisdom available from all forms of life.....i do not want to be a part of the deathkulture...... so Power Greater......i want a sense of what is to fill this empty space i have created in my life........ and the answer came clear......i want to go to massage school.... i want to do body work...... an idea that had been floating around my psyche for almost 2 decades now.....and actually last fall felt a powerful calling to do just that but thought it was just crazy with all my other pursuits...... and now those pursuits have fallen by the wayside..... and i am called to do that....... and today..... my energy has returned......and i am ok again.....and energized and inspired....to do this 'work'...this art that i am being called to do..... and i was talking with wendy today telling her these things and she said well did i know that she and andrew are looking into this 5 and 1/2 month intensive in silverton at massage u......3 days a week ....... and i said....well obviously i am in...... soooooo.......what started out the beginning of the year as this..... i wonder how long i could go without sugar?..... has turned into this major life transformation..... and it feels so huge and right..... so......i am reinvoked! and i feel so much of it has been this reinvestment in my 12 step work these past 2 months or so......and i shall continue to seek the gifts and direction that having the steps and program alive in my day to day give me...... so far i am more than excited by the results..... so i guess you can't be to surprised if i may not be so in touch with my tribe stuff....my laptop is already sold and the guy might have the money for me this weekend......i still have the business computer to check every now and then....but no sitting around the lodge for a couple hours at a stretch with my little virtual mesmerizer.... majk & blessings to you all in your drawing to yourself the seeds of this new growing season dreaming itself into beings........ skye

ok....you have to realize that i am only about 120 pages into this book.... but it already is blowing me away and i want to share a piece of it with you in hopes you will be inspired to read it as well.... first off....i hardly ever read non-fiction anymore.....people's observations about anything masquerading as fact put me to sleep almost as fast as anything political in nature.... it was quite the amazing turn of events that put this book in my hand and poked me in the spirit and said you have to read this...... Derrick Jensen's book "A Language Older Than Words" is super amazing.....a true gift...... i don't even want to tell you about it but i will give you this large snippet and let you judge if it calls your name......... THE MESSAGE FROM THE stars that sustained me as a child—that the cruelty we take for granted is not natural—sustains me to this day. For I know that beneath the fear and hatred, beneath the urge to control and destroy, far beneath the scarred shells that protect and define us, people are good. Deep down our needs are simple: apart from food, shelter, and clothing there are the needs to love and be loved, for community, to be open to the world at large and for it to be open to us, to affect and affected, to understand and be understood, to hear and be heard, to accept and be accepted. It is only when we fear that these needs won’t be met that we grasp at them, and in the grasping lose any chance of satisfying them. Love controlled is not love; just as sex demanded is rape and acceptance expected is subservience. But if we fear, then demand we must, for to fear these needs will not be met is to fear for our lives as surely as if our lack of love and acceptance were instead the absence of food and water. With these deep needs unsatisfied we waste away, shrivel, and die as from hunger or thirst. We die, but we go on surviving. The search for that which should have been there all along continues, but we can no longer receive it, nor even recognize it. And so we grasp all the more recklessly, demand all the more strenuously, never now slaking thirst nor sating hunger. The circle of necessary control grows wider, the hold grows tighter until the objects once loved are hated for the shreds of their remaining independence, the perceived unwillingness to conform to the precise and impossible accommodation of our ever-changing wishes which could grant us satisfaction, give us peace. We sense that this control of others is futile, perhaps, and yet we act upon the unacknowledged belief that to realize this control and quiet our fears we must affect all those we encounter that do not reflect our imagined dominance, silence them, deny their subjective existence, and ultimately, kill them. At this point there can be no respite for the hungry and thirsty save death, which will come too soon for those controlled and never soon enough for those who control. Fearing death, fearing life, fearing love, and fearing most of all the loss of control, we create social rules and institutions that mirror our fears and reinforce our destructive behaviors. Having surrounded ourselves with images of ourselves and having silenced all others, we can now pretend that the false-front world we’ve created is instead the world we’ve been given. We can pretend the world is a very dangerous place, where dogs eat dogs, where children and others must be beaten into submission, where a fierce struggle takes place in which only the strongest, meanest, most unethical and hateful survive, and ultimately where we die alone and afraid. Any threat to this illusion must be annihilated before it reminds us of what we’ve lost, what we’ve destroyed, and of what could have been. And so we kill all witnesses: the vast flocks of passenger pigeons; the islands of great auks; the massive herds of bison; the great forests; each and every nonhierarchical and peaceful indigenous culture; each and every new child, wild and beautiful and free and creative as she is; even our own consciences and direct experiences of the world. No matter how we try, we cannot eradicate every vestige of life and love. Each new child—human, plant, animal, stone, or star—offers a new possibility, and each new encounter an opportunity for communion, however great or slight. Just yesterday i drove to the grocery store to pull boxes of scraps from the dumpster. As i worked i noticed a man sitting on a curb, watching. His clothes were old, ill-fitting, and torn, his shoes falling apart. I couldn’t tell his age; the bottle, in a brown paper bag, from which he drank may have aged him ten years, or maybe twenty-five. I finished the boxes, and got in the truck. We made eye contact, and nodded. He stood and walked toward me. “do you get food out of there?” Homeless people ask me that all the time. Had I pulled anything of value, I would have given it to him. “Sometimes. Today i just got lettuce leaves.” He thought for a moment, looked away, then looked back to me. He reached in his pocket and said, “Can I donate a couple of bucks so you can get some food?” Communion. “No thanks,” I said, “The lettuce is for my chickens.” I smiled, and he smiled back. “Thanks,” I said, “Thanks so much.” Things don’t have to be the way they are. A Language Older Than Words -Derrick Jensen It is time for things to Change.....they are Changing.....do you want to align yourself with the Change.....that is the only question i think worth asking.....and each of our answers will be our own..... Find the Silence from which springs your wisdom......and devote yourself to the Truth that comes from it...... And Turn Away from this Culture....with all your heart, mind, spirit and belly..... Do It Now! evermajk & enduring blessings, skye

images i possess these are the frozen images i possess they are melting in my rememory within the mystery that is the fire of my grasp i count the images as i do the stars seeing patterns i suggest shapes seeing some brighter and clearer some as if a darkness glowing and all embraced in the night of my memory all as mysterious spiral shells on the small beach of my knowing these are the images i sculpt without altering or subduing this is the moment i honor their truth this is the way i trace the line of their surface this is the elusive knowing they gift this is the fire of my grasp which reveals the shadows of my identity this is who i am this is what i feel animage apicture amemory athought afeeling alesson astory ajoke anaffirmation aninsult adream a dream seeming windlike wavelike cloudlike treelike earth of my faith heaven of my dwelling source of my questions these are the fleeting images flickering enduring in the night sky of my memory these are the images which take on the role of shiva and dance their power in the temples of my history i am their servant i am their master i am their patron i am the artist which creates the collage which is their weaving together into the song of my spirit’s existence into the story which speaks of my endings and my endingsbeginnings